I hear my name being called. A sound so faint in the distance that I almost dismmissed it as the passing wind. But I didn't because I know it isn't the wind. And then I hear it again, always the same, always that familiar unsure tone. That yearning, desperate call for my embrace. And I ache each time I hear her call, this same ache in the core of my existence for you see, I do not exist without her. And I can just vanish into tiny particles of the universe if she wills me to. But she has not. Because we both know that one day, she will find me. All this wait and pain will be worth it because she will see me. She will embrace me, as I will her.
So yes, today, again, I hear her call. But she knows that I cannot go to her, she must find me. That's just how these things work. As much as I want us to be together, I am stuck here. Chained to this spot where I hide. That girl, the girl who calls for me, she's lost. She's on a path that is leading her to where she doesn't want to be, to another, like me, but will never be able fulfill her as I can. She knows this, I know this. So she continues to look for another path that would one day lead her to me, but that path too, is hidden from her. Her vision, her judgement is clouded with distractions of what is expected of her, her sense of responsibility to parties other than herself. It is for these distractions that she has put her search for me on the shelf, to dust, hoping that her yearning for me will disappear with the time. This hurts me, of course, but the fact that I still exist today proves that she still wants to find me, deep down, she does. Like I said, I can disappear if she wants me to. But I'm still here. And I'm still waiting, because SHE is still searching.
Although she may not know this, I know her heart more than anyone else out simply because that heart of hers is where I came from. Yes, that complicated mind and confused heart were what created me. And because of this, I know that she is hurting each every day that her search for me ends in vain. I feel sorry that she now has to work hard to achieve something that will never satisfy her, because it will not be ME.
Today, unlike every other day, I answer her call. I am crying this soundless scream. I want her to know that I can see her. Very clearly. I am sorry that I just keep watching her helplessly, even when I understand her yearning. And that I am still wating. Waiting to be seen. Waiting for the day that she finds that path that will lead her to me. Untill that day comes, I will continue to just... exist. As a dream, waiting to be realized.
Monday 31 January 2011
Sunday 30 January 2011
i have fallen in love.....
....... with a CARTOON CHARACTER! (haaakkhhh gotcha! ><)
yes, at the age of 24, I am in love with Flynn Rider (the dude in Disney's Tangled).. oh and also, I'm in love with this song:
If I ever get married, I want this as my wedding song!! It gives me goosebumps (the good kind, not the eerie kind) every time I hear this song.. Who knew Chuck (ie Zachary Levi) could carry a decent tune right?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
