This time next week I will already have known whether I am or not a doctor. 'Scary' doesn't even begin to describe it for me right now....

bismillahitawakkaltu'alallah.......

Rhyl.. oh Rhyl...

I'm FINALLY back in Cardiff!! >< I've only been away 4 weeks this time, but it felt too long... Five years being in the UK, I haven't been homesick since I had surgery in 1st year... That was until I went to Rhyl. I'm not kidding. I blame the lack of working fast internet, which meant NO KPOP... which meant TORMENT to me.. by the end of the placement, my head wasn't in the right place anymore....

The lack of fast internet kinda also deprived me of a lot more than kpop but I think that was what nearly drove me insane.. How am I going to work there laaaaaa in August?? T__T

"Born This Way" - Lady Gaga (Sam Tsui Cover)

I really like the covers this guy makes. He actually made me properly listen to the lyrics of this song. And seeing as it's a Gaga song, that says a lot actually. hahaha

So people, God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way. ^__^

Life is cruel. And life is unfair. Let's face it, that is nothing new. The older you are, the more curve balls life throws at you. The more cracked/broken the tinted glass you used to view life with when you were little. This isn't a rant about how my life sucks, because it doesn't, not by my standards. I mean, I could be doing a lot worse than I am now, so I am thankful.

But you know what's funny? People. People are funny. When we meet people, all guarded, they complain we're too distant and fake. When we put our guard down and finally decide to let people in, like IN in, they decide it's not for them, so they leave. Or they don't leave but replace us and expect us to leave instead. So then, with a shrug, we do. Because, we don't have time to sit there and wallow in self pity at how we've been 'victimised'. And at the end of the day, we're left with this "I knew it!" smile on our faces and we move on, more guarded than before. So the cycle continues..... again.. and again. And all the tree hugging hippies who swear by optimism  look at us and wonder how we've become such skeptics..

I would like to take this moment to say to all my friends, my real friends, not acquaintances, not fake superficial friends, that I love you. And I thank you. For staying as a real friend throughout these years. It's because of people like yourselves that I still possess some form of optimism and compassion, and not a completely soulless shell of a person.

What's the story, morning glory?

Yeah, as the title (and the poster above probably) might have given it away, I'm going to write about this fluff-type of movie. I don't really know how to classify this movie, it's not a romantic comedy really.. it's not really a chick flick, coz they're not really in high school talking about hot boys.. oh well, whatever the category it falls under, I just want to say, I loved it! It goes well with my 'I have a dream' phase I'm having right now (although I don't really know what exactly that dream is yet.. I'm just determined to be something - refer previous post).

The movie is about Becky (Rachel McAdams) who plays the role of an exec producer of a morning talk show that's on the verge of being shut down. She works her ass off because she's so determined to prove herself and she's confident in carrying herself, especially because she knows who she is and what she wants. I think I love it so because I envy her confidence. I envy her sense of direction in life. She's 28 and single because her work is all of her. And she doesn't sit around to mope about it. Because she doesn't have the freaking time. and I totally love that! The fact that women don't have to feel bad about wanting a career and working hard for it. Anyways, when I finished watching, it left me smiling to myself for a good 10mins..

I'm not saying I don't like romance. I'm just against the notion of a gender biasness in ambition. If men are allowed to make a career for themselves for their self worth, why can't women? Because some women don't equate their worth by how many children they have or how much they live off of a man. So what be of those women then?  

Avril Lavigne - What The Hell

New addiction as of today. Will be my life motto for a while - 'What the hell' ^^

ps: Avril's hot! remind me again, is she a mom? Another girl crush alert.. haha

Too legit to quit.

Abdi, my Somalian colleague once asked me in my 1st year this question:

"When would you say that you're satisfied with your life? like say - 'aahhh I've lived a good life' to yourself?"

And back then, I didn't have an answer. I mean, someone said something along the lines of 'when I have a stable income, a family and successful children'. Someone else said something like 'when I look out from the patio of my penthouse that overlooks a quiet private beach'. Or 'when I drive a striking red Ferrari'.. You know, textbook answers? But back then I really couldn't answer the question. I mean, a job/family/car isn't that a given? I mean, everybody wants them and everybody works to get them, but once you get them, what then? Do you give up looking for more?

Now I'm in my 5th year of medschool. I was crossing the street some time last week near Queen St when a thought suddenly struck me; I know my answer! Four years later, Abdi, I have figured out my answer. For me, the time when my aim in life will be achieved is when people talk about me, it involves the use of the article 'THE' in front, in a positive context. A conversation between two strangers would be:

A: What does Ili think of this?
B: Which Ili?
A: You know, the Ili. There's only that one whose opinion matters in this.

Yes, that is nascissm at it's best (or worst, depending on how you look at it ><) Feel free to hate me. Feel free to disagree, but when I see MY opinions materializing even when you blatantly pretend to shut me down when I say them to you, I laugh at you because I know you know I am right. At times like these, I do believe I'm too legit to quit (Cue MC Hammer 2legit2quit song here).